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Posted by on May 25, 2011 in EdsPick2, Writing | 2 comments

WTF? My fck can we kill dis BS habit b4 it breeds? OMG!

imageI don’t profess to be a language expert. Occasional cunning linguist sure. Lover of large and unusual words no doubt. But expert? Not so much.

In my work with college-level students I do have the unpleasant task of reviewing assignments and assessments. In the process of marking a set of papers it’s normal for my mood to vary from one of hysterical laughter to abject misery as I try to fathom poor grammar, shocking sentence construction and horrendous spelling.

This is nt ayoba

But anything that my students are able to dish up pales in comparison to the language quality I’ve recently seen in Facebook comments. This level of bastardisation of the Queens’ Finest Quality English is beyond even my tolerance. Never mind my comprehension.

  • Sun City is th place 2 b, th auditorium styl cos th chair arngmnt ws nt ayoba. If u cn do ths agn ul atnd th evnt aln. Nt 4gtng gud perfomances.
  • Eish i so h8 Ppl ba ba bsy complainin gore zakez ddnt win knowin very wel gre they ddnt vote 4 hm…lol nt even a single vote…plz guyz b4 we say sumthynz we hav 2 think 1st
  • I neva watch t but ithnk igot enuf brf abt a supa fly perfomc by ZAKZ,UCH N PROFSA. And ma gal Bonang wz a totaly disaster..they ol said
  • no guys pls lay off of mandoza,da guy ws so disrespected the whole nyt izolo,,,,wish we had answers abt whats wrong wit him bt we dnt,

Even my regular Russian spam merchants do better than this lot.

All of these postings are comments left on the SAMA Facebook page. But that is not really the point – I’ve seen similar SMS-style posting in a number of places.

Damn I luvd it

Here’s a few more samples for you to try and decipher:

  • Ahahahaha I ws hopin da twins(lockenville isit) liquideep n Dj Kent wud perform ….I soo loved da performance by dt white rapper it ws epic …damn I luvd it…n zakebantwini dose wer da highlights rest ws crap! Mxm
  • God thnx dat I dd nt gt tmptd 2 buy d ticket. Wat happened yestday was jst an insult 2 us.
  • Ha plz tell ukhanyi that she n the ghetto type dnt mix.what happend 2 the glam n fame luk.stick 2 it plz

I love how it’s okay to type out in full long words such as disrespected, performance and arrangements. But what, not and can must become wat, nt and cn respectively.

You manage to type  performance easily enough, but when faced with the daunting task of putting can down the best you can come up with is cn? Really?

Whit gal come frm da sky

Our education system and standards leave much to be desired it seems.

  • Bot da Vip 680 bt twas gud as me sittin at home or da last row at da bck,der was no 1st preferance 4sum of da celebritiz n us da Vip ppl coz of da kak sitting arrangements…da different after Venues were a huge mistake as ppl gt lost n into da wrong parties..where was da pre drinks party?venues only sold spin,heineken,wine n whiskey WTF??.wen yol were playing ads on Tv we got nada at da Dome jst had to screem as u we’re gettin bck 4rm da ads.,
  • Can sum1 plz tel me why did that whit gal come frm da sky ngalz their name die antwoord should have been die k.a.k that was the mst pathetic samas even dnt even talk about khanyi on STAGE AFTER SHE KNOWS WHAT A DESASTER HER MUSIC CCAAARRREEEEE WAS!HELP
  • If u t8k da SAMAz 2 tht plc again,m telling u guy those tecketz u sold nxt tym thy’ll b 4 charity,no 1 will buy thm

Wer off da h00k

And it’s not just people who are bitching about something who write like this. Even those that have a positive message to share are guilty of the same thing:

  • da sama awrdz wer off da h00k bbz..i enjyd thm a l0t…ke di bester

I’m most amused, intrigued and amazed at the writers of comments like this last sample:

  • Yea ryt.hw cme u gt an award unawear dt u r n0minated?ner dis awards wr nt pland i cn tel u.pls i do nt mynd being ognizr 4 FREE

It seems that something a lot of these scribes forget is that each of these frightening affronts on readers’ sensibilities is linked directly to their Facebook identity and profile. And if anyone of these people had the temerity to apply for a job with me, I’d laugh them back into the street so quickly their heads would spin. If you’re so patently bad at marketing yourself, why should I (or anyone else for that matter) bother with you?

Neva gonna hpn. no, not eva

I don’t care how qualified or able the person is. If you knowingly show off your inability to construct a simple and understandable sentence or two and allow yourself to be publicly humiliated by the comments you make, you don’t deserve anything from me.

Not even the right to being my event ognizr. Not even if you’ll do it 4 FREE.

Neva gonna hpn. No, not eva.


  1. Fntastic pst Greg. U wl nt beleeve hw stoopid dese ppl r dese days. Lol. Okay let me npy torture you anymore. I find it so hard to type that gibberish. The weird thing is with predictive text on our phones, bad spelling is auto-corrected so it makes it even harder to write that crap. I tried fighting against it but now I just use it to sift out all the idiots from Facebook. I know exactly who would he capable of holding a proper conversation. The formular usually works. The ones with good netiquette are usually the best conversationalists (they have a wide range of subjects to speak on, they’ve read books before, they are intelligent) and they end up keepers on my friends list. Not all abbreviators are necessarily stupid ppl but I highly doubt their well read and they really don’t come of as educated. Nothing wrong with abbreviations, just don’t go on abbreviation overkill!

  2. LMFAO!!

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