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Posted by on Nov 3, 2010 in Computing, Current Events, Random | 7 comments

Twitter Threatened With Closer. Or Closure…

Julius: Hau Floyd, I don't understand this Twitter-thing. I think we must closer it from the hackers. Or nationalise it. Fuck, I'm confused. Floyd: Me too boss. Me too.A long while back I vowed not to mention the name of Julius Malema on these pages again. At least not until he made good on promises to apologise for his ridiculous utterances, and to openly disclose how his lavish lifestyle is funded.

Neither of those things have happen, so my vow still stands.

However this is just too good to not mention. And besides, it is directed at Floyd rather than Juli-baby, so I’ll take the broken vow under advisement, if I may?

Under the headline ANC YOUTH LEAGUE CONCERNED BY CRETATION OF FAKE TWITTER ACCOUNTS IN THE NAME OF ANC YOUTH LEAGUE PRESIDENT JULIUS MALEMA, the illustrious, and somewhat grammatically challenged, ANCYL spokesperson Floyd Shivambu issued the following press release earlier today:

The ANC Youth League is concerned by the continuous creation of fake Twitter accounts in the name of ANC Youth League President Julius Malema. There are computer hackers who have created twitter accounts in the name of the President and recurrently posting misleading messages.

The ANC YL has in more than one occasion reported these impersonators and hackers, yet no action has been taken against them by the twitter administrators. We will now approach the relevant authorities to report these hackers and call for the closer of twitter if its administrators are not able to administer reports for violation of basic human rights and integrity.

Those who are hacking systems and impersonating the ANC YL leadership should immediately stop doing so because the laws of this country will come very hard on them.

It’s so funny as to be almost unbelievable. It must be a joke right? A fake made by someone to lampoon the YL and its’ leaders? Actually no. It is the real deal. And I’ve quoted it verbatim. As I did with the misspelled/misspelt headline. (< see what I did there Floyd?)

Couple of other pointers which may not be covered in your Pedi dictionary there Floyd, old buddy, old pal.

The people ‘cretating’ these fake accounts are not hackers, they are impersonators. Big difference there.

Having someone post satirically directed tweets – in under 140 characters of course – should actually be seen by Julius as a badge of honour. It means people are interested in him. He may even become a Trending Topic.

Then he will really have arrived on the social networking scene. He’ll be up there with “MJ dead”, FIFA SWC”, and “Justin Bieber”. In fact the more people mention his name, even in ‘misleading messages’ the better for JM’s international profile. Seriously, he could become the next Justin Bieber.

I say embrace the Twitter. Love the Twitter. Work the Twitter. At least you should on behalf of your fearless leader of course – he couldn’t string 140 intelligible characters together if his next tender contract depended on it.

If the head-youth (I was going to say ‘head-boy’ but that’s too school-like and we all know how JM hates to be reminded of his school days, don’t we?) is really getting on your case about it, maybe remind him of a phrase that probably is also missing from his Pedi dictionary: Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

“Violations of basic human rights and integrity”. Interesting choice of words there Floyd. Considering the past relationship between JM and the Human Rights Commission. And the Sonke Gender Equality group.

Better get use to it I say. Your cronies in ANC HQ upstairs in Luthuli House may yet get their “Let’s Cover Our Arses By Passing A Law To Prevent Journalists From Exposing Our Rampant Corruption” law through, but you ain’t never going to stop the Interwebs talking trash about you. Unless you pull the plug on the whole damn thing of course. Except then we’ll have to start calling your boss Kim Ju Malema. And that just sounds silly.

Alternatively, you could just press to nationalise the internet as well. I’m sure that’ll work just as well as the mine nationalisation thing you guys seem so hot to get set up. I bet that’s a thought that will make you ‘come very hard on’.


  1. I would also like to take over TWITTER, just short a couple of gazillion dollars, maybe the ANCYL can dip into their petty cash, buy the place and fire everyone, including the 190 million users

  2. Monty the FacePalm cartoonist has added another JM-inspired strip to his site: Malema & ANCYL Want to Close Down Twitter

    The stupidity of these people just amazes me. All that this release has done is spur more people into creating fake Twitter accounts in Julius’ name (and even dear Floyd has a couple now as well.)

    Some of them:
    The Julius Malema :
    Malema Global PR :
    Julius Sello Malema:
    Floyd Shivambu :

  3. He sounds like an idiot this guy

  4. More:
    JujuMalemaOZ – yeah, OZ!

  5. This joke of a story has even made news here in Aus. You know how much our journos love any opportunity to dish dirt on anything related to South Africa.
    All the goodwill from the World Cup trickling down the drain each time these idiotic stories come to light.

  6. If you can not get your point across in English, send out your press releases in your mother tongue…Chops!


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