For The Ladies: What Do Women Really Want?
August is Womens’ Month, and this coming Sunday (the 9th) is National Womens’ Day here in gender-equal South Africa. So, to mark the occasion, and to show our appreciation for the women in our lives, we give you the tale of Arthur, Lancelot and the Witch.
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would then be put to death.
The question? What do women really want?
Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch’s proposition to have an answer by years end.
He returned to Camelot and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.
Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high; the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthurs’ closest friend! Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, and was generally hideous. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.
He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden. But Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.
He said nothing was too big a sacrifice compared to Arthurs’ life and the preservation of the Round Table. Lancelot agree to the witches’ price, if only to ensure that his King stayed alive.
Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch duly answered Arthurs’ question.
“What a woman really wants” she answered, “is to be in charge of her own life.”
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur’s life would be spared. And so it was. The neighbouring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.
The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him! The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened to the witch.
The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would only be her horrible deformed self half of the time, and the beautiful maiden the other half.
“Which would he prefer?” she asked. “Beautiful during the day, or beautiful at night?”
Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch?
Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?
What would you do?
Noble Lancelot said that he would allow her to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she smiled and told him that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life!
And, of course, they all lived happily ever after.
So, what is the moral to this story?
Simply this: Gentlemen remember, if you don’t let a woman have her own way things could get really, really ugly!
Happy Women’s Day ladies!