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Posted by on Aug 27, 2009 in Blogging | 7 comments

Comment Spammers Amuse Me

Hmmm, spam! Yummy. Please Sir, can I have some more! Dumb arse tossers! Ahh comment spammers. Got to love them. I still don’t get why they even bother these days. There are so many tools and plug-ins available to bloggers to prevent their blogs being swamped by trash comments that the effort taken seems entirely wasted. Yet still, we get them every day here at the BlaBla offices.

We use a remarkable WordPress plug-in called Aksimet on the blog which handles 99% of the spam attempts automatically. It analyses the comment content, included links and the posters’ IP and email addresses. Then it decides whether the comment is a likely spamming attempt. If it is, the plug-in automatically deletes the comment, and adds the information into its’ constantly evolving database of known spammers.

In the 2-odd months that we’ve been using Aksimet it has removed almost 2,500 spam comments without us having to lift a finger. There are many other tools and solutions to the problem in addition to Aksimet.

Every now and then though we do receive a comment that is potentially genuine and Aksimet marks these as “Possible Spam” allowing us to manually review and action the comment. It’s these types of comments that bring an occasional smile to my lips.

Here’s an example:

I admire the time and effort you put into your blog and detailed information you offer! I will bookmark your blog and have my children check up here often. Thumbs up!
lesbian piss porn

That “lesbian piss porn” bit were three links to three different porn sites. Here’s this fool telling us how great we are and that he was going to have his children visit the site often. So that they too can click through to his recommended lesbian piss porn sites presumably. Dumb arse.

Another, that almost reads like stream-of-consciousness haiku poetry in places. Almost.

I’m new here, both to the city and to the community.
My friend Tony posts here
all the time and convinced me to join.
I just can’t say no! I’ve been browsing the posts for
quite a while now and finally registered an account.

Little bit about me:
I like drinking vodka and watching UFC.
I’m just recently getting into the whole PUA game
but I’m hooked, it’s sweet!

I started comphrehending these ideas
last year but just recently I’m really doing it.
I’m fortunate,
I had some crazy teachers.

A simple search on the internet will show you some fantastically expensive courses you can take and learn to seduce girls and bring them into bed,
or you can learn for free.
What do you guys think of the information on this site:
meet-women-now.com

There’s just so much wrong with this comment. Uhh, we’re not city specific or community reliant here at BlaBla, fool. Your friend Tony has never posted squat anywhere near us. And you liar, you! You never did register an account here, now did you?

I’m not surprised that our friend likes drinking vodka – his IP address resolves to a Russian host. What the hell is UFC? And how about “the whole PUA game”?

Perhaps the most amusing bit though is the “fantastically expensive course” I could take to learn to seduce girls. Besides the blatant sexism evident in that offer (I mean, who’s to say I want to seduce girls? Maybe I might want to learn how to seduce guys) making no effort to disguise the link is just poor form, and obvious laziness on the posters’ part. Oh, and at a price that rates as fantastically expensive, I’m sorry but it’s probably out of my price range anyway.

Irritating, foolish and amusing all at the same time. But I’m hooked, it’s sweet!

7 Comments

  1. Geez Bla, you need to get out more! UFC = Ultimate Fighting Championship, and PUA = Pick Up Artist.

    So can I get a vodka now as well?

    • Okay, now I get it. Thanks Virginia.

      And you'll have to get your own vodka. I'm broke.

  2. LMAO,… lesbian piss porn? But you gotta admire the effort,..

    You don't have adsense,… try those,… and you will get the 'I Ki$$ you ads', Please Ki$$ mine.

    I know I am a Bitch and and somewhat weird, but I don't where they would get the idea that I would like to kiss my computer screen…

    • "somewhat weird"? You? Surely not?!

      Lesbian piss porn on the other hand. Now that IS weird.

  3. Uhm, could you post some of those links,…..just for interrest sake…….

    • You want links to "lesbian piss porn" and "pick up artist tips to pick up women"?? You & I clearly need to have a chat. Or maybe I should drop a note to your Missus?

  4. lesbian piss porn, sounds messy – the minute she starts that its probably time to move on!!

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